Unreal
by God of Insanity
Summary: Sesshoumaru, with the help of his greatest enemy, reflects back on the one thing he’s denied most: His father. YAOI! InuT/Sess Nara/Sess FOR MATURE READERS ONLY!
1. Chapter 1: My Skin

**Unreal**

By:_**God of Insanity**_

Warning(s): NC-17, Character Death, Yaoi M/M, LEMON, Anal, Oral, Incest, Fluffyness, Angst...and all the other good stuff.

Pairing(s): InuTaishou/Sesshoumaru, Naraku/Sesshoumaru

Summary: Sesshoumaru, with the help of his greatest enemy, reflects back on the one thing he's denied most: His father.

_**A/N:**__**One of the One-shots that I was talking about writing. I put this story in the Naraku/Sesshoumaru category because even though a lot of it does reflect on Touga, the main pairing IS Naraku/Sesshoumaru. This was initially going to be a one-shot, but I've decided to make it a Two-shot, lol. I feel like I'll never get this one done if I don't split it up into two parts. The next and final chapter should be updated soon.**_

_**This story was partly inspired by one of my older stories, "Real", which is one reason why the titles are similar. I wanted to write something like Real again, so if you are a fan of that story, you may like this one. If you like kinky sex stories, this one is **__**not**__** the one for you.**_

_**I'm in school now, kiddies. Only 2 classes, but those classes are a lot of work and I do have a JOB, too. So…just be supportive, give feedback, and I'll do as much as I can. The chapters will be shorter so I an update faster.**_

_Disclaimer(s): I do not own InuYasha or any of the characters except for my own ideas and characters. I make no profit whatsoever from Rumiko's work. I also do not own nor profit from "My Skin" by Natalie Merchant. _

* * *

Chapter 1: "My Skin"

**"My Skin"**

Take a look at my body  
Look at my hands  
There's so much here  
That I don't understand

Your face saving promises  
Whispered like prayers  
I don't need them  
I don't need them

I've been treated so wrong  
I've been treated so long  
As if I'm becoming untouchable

Contempt loves the silence  
It thrives in the dark  
With fine winding tendrils  
That strangle the heart

They say that promises  
Sweeten the blow  
But I don't need them  
No, I don't need them

I've been treated so wrong  
I've been treated so long  
As if I'm becoming untouchable

I'm a slow dying flower  
Frost killing hour  
The sweet turning sour  
And untouchable

O, I need  
The darkness  
The sweetness  
The sadness  
The weakness  
I need this

I need  
A lullaby  
A kiss goodnight  
Angel sweet  
Love of my life  
O, I need this

Do you remember the way  
That you touched me before  
All the trembling sweetness  
I loved and adored?

Your face saving promises  
Whispered like prayers  
I don't need them  
No, I don't need them

O, I need  
The darkness  
The sweetness  
The sadness  
The weakness  
I need this

I need  
A lullaby  
A kiss goodnight  
The angel sweet  
Love of my life  
I need this

Is it dark enough?  
Can you see me?  
Do you want me?  
Can you reach me?  
Or I'm leaving

You better shut your mouth  
Hold your breath  
Kiss me now you'll catch my death  
O, I mean it.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Thinking back on **it**, even _now_, **it** seems trivial and silly to one such as I.

Many centuries have passed since I last thought about it. There are times that I feel as if I'm buried in the past. Buried down so deeply that I cannot possibly resurface from all the pressure that keeps me down, down…_down_.

The age that I wander aimlessly in is what the ningen call the modern era. There is no honor in this era and I often feel like I should have died hundreds of years ago. My kinds are too few and only the smart ones like me stay hidden. Still…too few of us left. I sometimes wonder what the point of surviving is if there is _nothing_ to gain from such a life.

But I digress from the real issue at hand: I am, and have been in denial for over a thousand years.

For so long I have denied what I felt, and what I still feel. I probably would have still been in denial if not for that damned _spider_. Once that man gets inside your head, he rips everything apart at the seams.

And somehow, I am still grateful for it.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It happened three months ago, to be precise.

I was standing outside in the Japanese country side just staring at the horizon like a statue. I often did this for hours, consumed by my own haunting thoughts. It seemed I always thought about everything but that one _thing_ I always kept repressed.

I was always alone out here. No humans ever dared to come out here for I lived too far in the country. And if any ever did pass by, it was always in a car, and they never stopped. Most ningen loved to live in large, overcrowded cities. I hated cities, but they loved cities. It somehow worked out for me.

It was near dusk when a tall, dark figure stood in my line of vision. At first, I thought it was a shadow until I focused my eyes and saw that it was a man.

It was a very familiar looking man with long, wavy inky black hair that danced in the wind even though the rest of him stood stock still as if he were imitating me.

For a moment, I thought I was seeing things…hallucinating. But then his scent came to me with the wind. It wasn't unpleasant as I remembered it had been, yet something about it was still uniquely him. Perhaps the repulsive miasma and humanity had been distinguished from his body. Or maybe he just wasn't real.

"Sesshoumaru." His voice rasped, as if he hadn't used it in years.

When he spoke my name and looked at me with his smoldering, wicked crimson depths…it was then that I knew that he was real. Or I hoped…

There were two reasons for my doubt that he wasn't just some illusion that my lonely mind had conjured. First, I had witnessed his death many centuries ago. The second reason was the fact that I hadn't interacted with another human or demon in over three hundred years or so.

Whether one is introverted or extroverted, isolation always killed or drove him or her crazy in the end. Obviously, if I was seeing and hearing things that weren't real, then the latter was my case.

I did the only thing I could think of. I closed my eyes for a moment and then opened them again. To my shock, he was barely a couple feet away from me.

"Your eyes do not deceive you. It is I, Naraku."

"Naraku is dead." I muttered, but I stood my ground even though some part of me wanted to desperately flee. A small part of me was afraid. Not because this was supposedly Naraku, but because I hadn't talked to anyone in such a long time.

Instead of looking annoyed, he merely nodded in agreement. "Yes, he is dead."

"Who are you and what do you want." I inquired while the fingers of my only hand twitched.

A look of irritation crossed his features briefly. If I hadn't been paying close attention, I would have missed it. "**I** _am_ Naraku."

"If Naraku is dead, then how can you be him?" I asked, very skeptical at this point. The strange thing was that even though I had once hated Naraku, there was none left for him. All my hatred for everyone was long gone. Time had taken away pretty much everything from me.

"It's simple. I am the reincarnation of Naraku. My birth name was Shuten."

I raised one of my thin eyebrows, which indicated I wanted him to expand on his explanation.

He looked as if he didn't want to expand on it as if that would be wasting time or something to that effect. This is funny because the Naraku I knew was dreadfully patient.

In the end, he decided to give me what I want, but only on one condition, of course. "Invite me in and then I will tell you what you wish to know."

I nodded and turned my back on him. Of course, the old me would have never done that. Oh, Time…

~*~*~*~*~*~

Once inside, I invited him to sit on one of the couches. I sat on the other one that was across from him. Unfortunately, because all my things had decayed, I had been forced to get more modern furniture and accessories.

"Explain."

One of his thin black eyebrows arched at that, but he explained, "I was born roughly three hundred years ago. I do not remember my parents because they died soon after I was born. My mother's mid wife put it upon herself to take care of me until I was old enough to fend for myself.

As a child, I had dreams, or nightmares, whatever you wish to call it…of my past life. Every day my conscious became more of Naraku and the more I became him, the more I hated my birth name. One day, I denied my own name and took the name Naraku. And before you ask, yes…I remember _everything_."

I didn't say anything for a few long minutes. Whether he was lying or not, I found that I didn't much care.

More long minutes passed and neither of us said anything. He only watched me with those eyes of his; those crimson balls of red fire that seemed as if they could probe my very being. They began to unnerve me to a point that I found myself opening my mouth again to speak. "Why are you here."

At that point, he stood up to his full, towering height. Somehow, he looked bigger and more imposing now than he ever did in my memories. I wasn't sure what to think.

"It's rather simple, really…" The kumo replied with ease. His voice sounded far more smooth and silky now. Something about his confidence also bothered me.

I stared at him and I'm sure I looked bored out of my mind. That's just the way I have always looked, even when I am not bored. He didn't seem fazed by it, though. Well…if he truly was Naraku, he would know that he had always had my attention, unfortunately.

I didn't say a word because I expected him to expand, so I waited for him to finish. Instead, he ventured closer to me and touched my cheek with the backs of his fingers. I inhaled sharply at the unexpected caress and I froze on the spot. Liquid lightning seemed to shoot through my blood to every part of my body in such a way that if I hadn't been such a composed person, I would have showed how much it affected me. It was amazing how such a light touch could affect me as much as it did. But then again, I hadn't been touched by another creature for over five hundred years or so.

"If you do not mind, I am weary and would like to sleep." Naraku murmured and his hand back at his side again.

Wordlessly, I nodded and gestured towards the room that would be his for the night. As soon as he had left, I exhaled deeply and I was surprised. I hadn't even realized that I had been holding my breath.

I didn't budge from where I was sitting for many hours. I just sat there thinking. Why has he come? And why now? He's Naraku, but then he's not Naraku? And why don't I feel the need to run my claws through his chest? All these questions puzzled me and I wanted answers, but the darkness was silent. The only one who could answer my questions was the source of my confusion.

The night was a long one. I would find no sleep tonight.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next few days only served to deepen my confusion. Whenever I tried to ask him something, he would only stare at me, or smile. Then he would go back to what he was doing. And that was the thing. He often took long walks by himself or he silently gazed at the supposed beauty of this pathetic era.

In spite of myself, I found myself following him everywhere. While he walked, I would follow at a long distance. And when he had his staring sessions, I would watch him at a distance, of course. I was certain he knew I was there, trailing him everywhere, yet he never acknowledged my presence. Something about his behavior reminded me sharply of someone else I had once known. And even though I felt no hatred any longer for the kumo, I still had some caution left in my bones.

I didn't know what to think, but I did know I was becoming flustered and annoyed because this demon was ignoring me. In a way, it was ironic. I ignored the world but the very person I wanted to interact with was ignoring me. Why would he come here, acknowledge me, then after that act as if I'm not even there? My uncertainty only deepened with each passing day and night. Other emotions, ones that had been dormant for so long, were also bubbling against the surface of my being.

It was becoming unbearable.

I wanted him to pay attention to me. I wanted him to do something, _anything_. Whether an act of violence or another caress, I didn't care. Just…_something_.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A week had passed and still Naraku lingered. I was perplexed as to why he remained here. What was his purpose? I couldn't come up with any reasons and it irritated me. And even though I was agitated, I didn't try to force him to leave nor did I give him any inclination to leave. Deep down, I didn't want him to leave. There was something about Naraku…that reminded me of _Him_.

Sighing silently to myself, I walked outside with determination burning in my core. I would make him pay attention to me and I would make him answer my questions.

I walked for twenty minutes while I followed his scent. I stopped when I came upon the hot springs. The odd thing was as long as I had been living in this area, I had never noticed the springs before. I wrinkled my nose when the strong scent of the springs invaded my nostrils. I hated smelling water now. It always reminded me of the bad things and I didn't ever want to think about them.

I almost immediately spotted Naraku. He was standing with his back facing me. He wasn't in the water yet, but he was half undressed, which meant that he was in the process of going into the water. His hair was pulled up in a high ponytail and it was slung over one of his shoulders, which gave my eyes access to his strong backside. I didn't see his typical spider burn mark, but instead, I saw something strange. There was the shape of a spider on his skin, but it was a shade darker than his skin tone. Obviously, it was a spider-shaped birth mark, yet it was odd because most birth marks I had seen were dark. His was barely visible.

"Naraku."

He said nothing and didn't even acknowledge my presence, as usual. There was no way that he didn't hear me. I narrowed my eyes and clenched my hands into tight fists at my sides. The spider's pants fell to the floor and he stepped out of them and stood there for a moment as if to compose himself. It was a long enough moment for me to gawk at his naked body. He was gorgeous, regal, and strong. Now it seemed that Naraku was all the things that _He_ was.

If he had turned around, I probably would have felt the need to run my claws through my own heart.

As I stared at him, I felt all the rage and annoyance evaporate and my hands unclenched. All my negative emotions were soon replaced by something else that was just as unwanted.

_Desire_.

With a low growl, I whipped around and stalked away. If I had chosen that exact moment to look behind me at him, I would have seen him staring at me over his shoulder with a smirk etched onto his face.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Another week passed and still the damn kumo ignored me as if I didn't exist. Something about it didn't feel right. Obviously I knew that he wanted something, but what could it be? I was immeasurably tired of waiting and being shunned. I decided to quit being passive and to get answers…by force, if need be.

It was in the evening when I set out to search for him. I found him in his room, sitting by the window and staring outside. What he was staring outside at, I couldn't tell. There was nothing outside except for trees and a gentle breeze that swayed them. For a moment, I did nothing but watch him. Something about the serene expression on his face seemed to calm me down and the violence that festered inside of me stopped boiling almost abruptly.

"Naraku…" I muttered more to myself than to him. I was surprised when he looked over his shoulder at me.

"What do you dream?" He inquired quietly, his voice smooth and deep like the perfect darkness.

I was too surprised to say anything for a few moments. I should have said nothing and walked away. It would have served him right for the two weeks that he ignored my existence. Instead, I murmured, "I do not dream."

Naraku turned his face back to the window and once more gazed outside. "You writhe in your sleep. And sometimes…you toss and turn with a troubled look upon your face."

I blinked. "You watch me sleep?"

He didn't respond to my question and focused once more on the placid scenery. Once more, it seemed he had shut me out.

Bad idea.

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and slammed him hard against the wall. I glared at him angrily while the whites of my eyes bled red. I was pissed and anyone with working eyes could see that.

Relief spread across his handsome features and a slow smirk soon followed suit. He stared down at me, not the least bit intimidated, and murmured, "It's about time…"

Dumbfounded, I blinked a few times and my hands lessened their hold on him. I was about to open my mouth and demand to know what he was talking about when he snaked his arms around my body. The kumo leaned closer and smashed his lips to mine. He devoured my mouth with so much ardor that I felt my knees buckle under my weight. I probably would have fallen to the ground if he hadn't been holding me.

I hadn't known we had moved at all until I felt the back of my legs hit the edge of the bed. He pushed me down onto the bed and crawled over me. Without any words, he stared down at me as if contemplating something. It wasn't long before he resumed kissing me again while both his large hands cupped my face.

In spite of myself, I wound my arms around him and kissed him back. I found myself enjoying how he plundered my mouth while the heat in my belly burned and coiled. I hadn't felt anything like this since…since _Him_. And once my lust-induced brain realized this, I tried to scramble away like a scared rabbit.

Naraku, who had been hovering over me, brought his body down to pin my own against the bed. He wouldn't let me escape, but he stopped kissing me. He watched me hard with those calculating, soul-piercing eyes of his. For several long minutes, he said nothing.

"Get off me." I growled finally once I figured out that he wouldn't budge. He was far stronger than I ever remembered him being. Then again…the other Naraku had never tried pinning me down when he had lived.

"No." Naraku said quietly, his deep voice calm and almost detached. There was still something lingering in his voice and face that he was trying to hide. But what was it? And why hide it?

I wanted to scream, but of course I wouldn't ever dare. Never in my entire life had I ever screamed before. Not even all the times I almost died. Pain was pain. I could take it no matter how severe.

He brought his face close to mine and stared at me with his probing eyes. It seemed that he was as curious about me as I was about him. Interesting.

"I will kill you." I warned and tried to struggle once more. His proximity was affecting me in ways I didn't want. Glimpses of memories threatened to overcome me and I fought desperately to keep them at bay. _No, I didn't want to remember._

Naraku chuckled almost darkly. Something about his laugh was eerily familiar. It sounded like the old Naraku's laugh. Perhaps he was Naraku after all…

"Why haven't you killed me yet, then? What are you waiting for, Sesshoumaru?"

I turned my face away, which broke the eye contact. I didn't want him to know. "I do not feel the need to."

"You live in your own little world, Sesshoumaru. I wonder how long you've isolated yourself…but I do believe it's about time you left it."

"Believe what you like."

Naraku chuckled at this. "You intrigue me. You always have."

"If that is true, then why do you act as if I do not exist?" I blurted out before I could rationally stop myself. I regretted saying it immediately.

He tilted his head to the side and peered at me, his face unreadable. A slow smile spread on his pale face. "I have been ignoring you for a reason, Sesshoumaru. Well…I've been _pretending_ to ignore you. You surround yourself in your own little icy world, devoid of anything real. You don't interact with anyone or anything. You dwell here like a forgotten statue. Now…I wanted you to see your behavior from a different perspective. And I also wanted to invoke something else within you."

"Like what?" I asked quietly and wasn't sure if he had heard me or not.

"Emotion." Was all Naraku said before he took hold of the sides of my face and kissed me again.

Just as I was beginning to unconsciously submit to what he was doing to me, he abruptly removed himself from my person and left the room. I sat up slowly and touched my fingers to my lips. I was so confused that I wondered whether my lonely mind had made up the encounter. I also questioned whether Naraku was really here. Was he even real? If he wasn't real and just some delusion I had created, then why Naraku of all people?

For many long hours, I sat on the edge of the bed bombarded by such inquiries. I ended up with no answers, as usual, and I pondered myself to exhaustion. Before I knew it, I fell asleep curled up on the bed, surrounded by the kumo's scent.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"_Sesshoumaru…"_

_I looked over my shoulder and saw a tall, regal, and beautiful demon. In his armor and with his swords tied at his side, he looked like a warlord off to battle. He was an intimidating figure, but his physical beauty seemed to soften, yet intensify his strong, deadly presence. He was flawless in all ways, well, at least in my eyes. People often compared me and him. They spoke of how I was beautiful like him, but I disagreed. I had some of his physical traits, but unfortunately, I bore a stronger resemblance to my absent mother._

_Eyes had always been what attracted me the most about a person. They reflected a person's soul, strengths, and weaknesses. His honey-colored eyes were strong and beautiful, yet they could pierce anyone with a single glance. I always secretly compared them to the sun. _

_His long, flowing silver hair was tied up in a top knot and seemed to flow in sync with the wind. I had always wondered what it would feel like to run my fingers through it. And even as I gazed at him now, the temptation to touch his hair rose in me. _

"_Yes, father?" I inquired as I turned around to face him. He didn't move from the spot he stood, which was about several feet away. _

"_You have grown so much since the last time I saw you. Come and let me have a closer look at you…" Rumbled his deep baritone of a voice. I idly wondered why he couldn't come to me, but then again, he was the commanding type. Normally, I would have scoffed at someone ordering me around, but I found myself almost immediately approaching him._

_I stopped when I was a couple feet away from him. Even though I was a full-grown youkai, he was still bigger and taller than me. When I had been younger, I had remembered wanting to be just like him in every way. Even now, the urge to live up to his image churned within me._

_He said nothing, yet he started circling me, looking me up and down. If it hadn't been him doing it, I would have felt like a piece of meat being sized up._

_After a minute, he stopped and stood in front of me. He reached over and tilted my chin up so he could look me in the eyes. I stood frozen on the spot because I was completely enthralled by him. "Tell me, beautiful child, why have you come back?"_

"…" _I didn't reply. Instead, I simply stared back at him. I felt like a helpless deer with a predator's teeth clamped around my neck. _

_My father chuckled in amusement at my silence. "Ah, yes, you always were a quiet one. No matter. I already know why you have returned and it pleases me greatly."_

_Before I could blink, he had me pressed against his body with his strong arms wrapped around me tightly. Despite our armors, I still enjoyed the embrace. _

_The Daiyoukai sniffed my neck and then nuzzled it as if I were his mate. My skin felt hot enough as it was and his actions only served to increase the heat. He chuckled and looked me in the eyes again. "My silly child. You came to me when you were in season. Were you aware of this?"_

_I shook my head to disagree. Truly, I hadn't even noticed. I barely paid my body any attention unless it needed to be washed or needed sustenance. _

"_I'll come back at another time, then." I muttered and tried to pull away but he wouldn't release me._

"_You are here now. And very vulnerable. It would be unwise to travel in your state. You are safe with me at my castle, Sesshoumaru."_

_I nodded my consent to that and he released me. He started walking away and I followed him…just like I had done in the past. I was an adult now, and yet, I still followed in his footsteps like a child._

_A few days had passed. Nothing happened between us during that time. I would stand outside in his garden and he would sometimes join me. We didn't speak much, but his mere presence was more soothing than any minstrel's sweet voice. And yet…even if he weren't right beside me, he was always close by as if keeping an eye on me…just like he used to when I was a small child. _

_Each day it got worse. The heat, the pain. It was nothing I had ever experienced before. Father told me that this was just my body's way of telling me I was an adult and that I was ready to mate. I curled my lip at that. As if I wanted to mate with any bitch. That was beneath me._

_Each day that had passed, the pain and discomfort only increased. Whenever masturbation came to mind, I shook it away. That was also something that was beneath me. Only lowly youkai and ningen did that. _

_One night, I awoke from a night terror and from the pain that assailed me. Try as I might, I couldn't go back to sleep. I sat up in the bed and glanced around at my room…yes, my room. My old room. No one had been in this room, except for me and for Him. My old scent still lingered, yet his scent was fresh in here. I wondered why he would even enter this room, but he had always been a strange demon. Maybe he visited my room because he missed me. Who knows. I didn't dare assume his reasons for anything._

_I tied my obi and left the room. I wandered down the dark hallways and I didn't mind the dead silence. The only thing I could hear was my soft breathing and my quiet, almost noiseless steps. I didn't know where I was going, but it was a large castle and I felt like walking. Anything to distract me from what I felt now. _

_Minutes, hours, I do not know…but time passed, as it always did. Ultimately, I found myself walking down the long corridor towards father's chambers. I slowed my step and crept as silently as I could. I did not wish to wake or disturb him. I had nearly passed his room when I heard his voice speak. It was barely audible, yet it reached my eyes nonetheless. _

"_Sesshoumaru."_

_I halted in mid step. I felt as if I had been caught in the act even though I wasn't doing anything wrong. At least, to my knowledge…_

"_Come here, child."_

_Obediently, I quietly slid the shoji door open to find him sitting up in his futon. I stood in the doorway and didn't move. My eyes met his and it was at this moment that I chose to study him. He looked unbearably exhausted as if he hadn't rested in weeks. His hair was unbound and tousled as if he had been tossing and turning all night. I had never seen him like this before. _

"_Come to me." He spoke in that deep voice of his and gestured for me to approach. Even though he was clearly tired and bothered, he was still patient. _

_I closed the door behind me and drew near him. As soon as I was in reach, he grabbed me and settled me on his lap. His arms wound around me and he buried his face in my neck. For several long moments, he said nothing but simply held me there. Something was off about him. I sensed that he was pain, but I wasn't sure what kind or degree it was. _

"_Father?"_

"_Hmmm?"_

"_What is bothering you? You are not in a well state." I asked almost timidly. I had never been one to question the Daiyoukai of the west. _

_It was then that he looked at me and cupped the side of my face. "I have missed you, boy. It feels as if you have been gone for a millennium."_

"_It's only been a decade, father." I muttered and tried not to focus on the interesting position I was in with my sire. His arm around me and his hand on my face only served to help pollute my hazy mind. _

"_You had to come back…" He murmured, yet it sounded like it was said more to himself than to me._

"_I can leave, if you wish it."_

_His arm tightened around me as if he were afraid I would break free and leave. "No."_

"_Father, you are tired. You should rest now. I apologize for waking you." I bowed my head._

"_You did not wake me, boy. I was already awake. Ever since you came back, I cannot sleep. Your damn scent is doing things to me…"_

_I looked at him then and could see the lust that clouded his eyes. If I had been any other person, it probably would have disturbed me. If I had been any other person, I probably wouldn't have felt such satisfaction that my own father wanted me. If I had been any other person, I probably wouldn't have wanted him in the worst way._

_We stared at each other for a few long moments and I'm sure we both felt the tension that was between us. The longer we waited, the thicker it got. I also knew he wouldn't do anything unless I initiated it first. I was never one to initiate anything and when I did, it was on a rare occurrence. Leaving my father had been my idea and I had done it. I left partly because I had wanted to explore the world and see new things. But the larger part of the reason I had left was because of him. I had always loved him and by the time I had hit adult maturity, I had realized I wanted my own father as a lover. _

_Before I could back out of it, I leaned forward and brushed my lips to his. It was my first kiss with anyone. Despite being surprised, he opened his mouth and returned the kiss just as enthusiastically. One of his hands cradled the back of my head as he deepened the kiss. He pulled me closer and I could feel his hardness underneath me. Shocked by it, I unintentionally wriggled around a bit and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. I could tell he liked it from the way he moaned into my mouth and the hand on my face slipped down until it gripped my hip. The hand that held my hip pushed me down onto his erection and he slowly ground against my rear. He tore his mouth away from mine and brought it to my neck. He kissed and sucked at my neck while his hands worked their way to my shoulders. Slowly, he pushed my kimono down off of my shoulders. _

_I tilted my head back, throat bared in my own way of submission. I gripped his shoulders hard and rolled my hips, my arousal rubbed against his stomach and my ass teased his groin. I panted lightly from the heat that assaulted me and the way my beautiful father touched me. At this point I didn't care what happened as long as he snubbed out the fire that burned me both painfully and deliciously._

_His mouth seemed to glide over ever y inch of skin that was revealed. It wasn't long before he had my kimono pushed off completely, which exposed my upper body. He took a moment to gaze at body and once he had his fill, with a pleased grunt, his mouth made love to my chest while his hands explored the smooth, yet hard plains of my body. They glided over every muscle almost as if they were familiar with them. _

_I gasped and arched against him when he licked, then took one of my nipples into his mouth. I dug my claws into him when he bit my nipple hard enough to draw blood. He lapped at the angry looking wound as if in apology. He swiftly moved to the other nub and traced the tip of his long tongue around the areola. When he was satisfied that my nipple was erect enough, he sucked it and nibbled it gently as if to prove that he could be gentle, too. _

_The Daiyoukai pushed me down on my back on his futon. He sat on his haunches and regarded me with lusty, hooded eyes. Even at that moment, I could see the turmoil in him, but I didn't care. Selfishly, I wanted him and I would have done anything to convince him. While watching him, I sat up and slowly removed my own hakama from my body until I was laid bare for his eyes. I set it aside, laid back down, and I pretended that he wasn't even there. I arched my back while I slowly, sensuously ran my hands from my chest, over my stomach muscles, and down to my engorged member. _

_The moment I touched myself, he had slapped my hands away, and crawled over me. All hesitation was discarded aside and in a low voice, he growled, "That is only for me. Do not touch."_

_I was taken aback by his possessiveness, but I was also pleased. As he hovered over me, I quivered underneath him in anticipation. Domination rolled off him in waves and caressed me in such a way that I didn't want to do anything but submit to this powerful, beautiful demon._

_My father moved away until he was on his knees in front of me. While he kept his eyes on me, he stripped his clothes from his body right in front of me. The way he did it wasn't slow and seductive like mine had been, but it had been arousing none the less. His way was cleanly efficient and something about it seemed like another way of him establishing his dominance. What aroused me most, besides his beautiful body being displayed for my feasting eyes, was the fact that his eyes never left me._

_I sat up slowly, but only to be pushed down flat on my back as he crawled over me once more. I reached up to touch him, but he took me by the wrists and pinned them above my head with one of his hands. He then pressed his larger, heavier body down against mine and I hissed from the delicious. I couldn't help but spread my legs and welcome him. He ground his erection against mine and I felt I would go insane from the lovely friction it caused. I felt his mouth at my ear and he whispered, his voice laden with lust and longing, "I want you."_

_I was nearly undone by those three words. I barely managed to whisper, "Your son offers himself to his father."_

_Once he was satisfied that he had my consent, he crushed his lips to mine in what I could only describe as a soul searing kiss. He dominated the kiss and his tongue thrust itself in my mouth and tasted me as If I contained the sweetest nectar. _

_It wasn't long before he pulled his mouth away and licked his lips. My father eased himself off of me until he was hovering over me again. He released my wrists and before I could even move, let alone blink, he flipped me so that I lay on my belly. He pulled me up by the hips and he knelt behind me. The Daiyoukai trailed one of his hands from my shoulder blade down to my backside in a tender, possessive caress. It was his way of relaxing me, I suppose._

_I braced myself for what was to come since at an early age, my father had educated me in the history of the inu youkai. I knew it would hurt and I was prepared for it. I buried my face in my arms and waited for the inevitable to happen._

_My father leaned over and kissed each of my shoulder blades. He brushed my hair away from my neck and kissed my neck. He gently spread me apart and rubbed his arousal against my entrance, which coated it in his pre- ejaculation. In one quick, fluid thrust, he sheathed himself fully inside my virgin body. My moan was muffled, but I knew he had heard it nevertheless. The entry had hurt me, but pain was pain. I enjoyed the fullness and the connection to him. I also appreciated that he gave me time to adjust to his immense size and girth. _

_The Daiyoukai kissed and licked at my neck while we waited. It didn't take me long to lose patience and rock back against him. With a low growl, he gripped my hips, pulled out of me, and slowly eased himself back in. He repeated this action a few times until I bucked back against him in my own way of spurring him on. My father took the hint and increased his pace. With each thrust inside my trembling body, he dug deeper and deeper. It wasn't until his manhood stroked that special place inside of me that white hot pleasure coursed through my entire being. I cried out and writhed under him. My body moved in sync with him on its own accord. _

_Whether it was to my imagination or not, but the more he pushed inside, the bigger it seemed his erection grew. I felt him wind his arm around me and clasp his clawed fingers around my neglected arousal. He stroked and pumped my manhood with each deep, blazing thrust into my tight, willing body. I moaned incoherently into my arms, my eyes shut tightly. It was so good and most of the pain was gone. I could feel the fire in my belly coiling tighter and tighter as my body prepared itself for its release._

_I could tell he was close as well. Each quick, yet deep thrust got jerkier and wilder. It seemed the closer we were to our completion, the faster he went, as if desperate to catch it. _

_Father pulled out almost all of the way out and quickly slammed back in, hitting my sweet spot hard. That move proved to be my undoing and I came then. I screamed his name, or something, I don't remember. My muscles clenched around him as the white hot ecstasy invaded me. After a few more erratic thrusts, he clamped his jaws on the back of my neck and shot his warm seed deep into the bowels of my body. Something else came with his seed, though. A knot. His member had swollen up and prevented us from being separated. I knew that we would be like that for quite a while. I didn't mind though. For many long minutes, I whimpered from the pleasure that still wracked my exhausted body. He maneuvered us so that we both lay on our sides. Strong arms wrapped around me and we lay there basking in the pleasure of our orgasms. During my daze, I felt his lips kiss and suckle at my neck. I turned my face to meet his and he kissed me with ardor in spite of that fact that our passion was spent._

_It wasn't long until I feel asleep with him still buried deep inside of me. Sometime during the night, he had finally slipped out of me, but he didn't let me out of his arms. We stayed like that the entire time we slept. And when I awoke the next morning, he was still there to greet me._

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

When I awoke, I blinked open sleep-ridden eyes to see the spider seated on the edge of the bed, watching me. I slowly sat up and would have glared at him if I hadn't felt such turmoil whirling inside of me. I now remembered _everything_. I don't know what triggered it…but that memory along with others had bombarded me. The things I hadn't thought about since the feudal era.

"What are you doing here." I asked, even though it sounded more like a statement than anything else.

"Well…this is _my_ room." The kumo replied almost cockily. He looked incredibly curious and I didn't like that.

"There are other places to be."

"Perhaps. But this room is the most interesting as of right now." Naraku replied smoothly and looked as if he wanted to touch me. He kept his hands to himself, though. I was somewhat disappointed by that.

I nodded and moved to get out of the bed, but he reached over and pushed me back down almost gently. I glared at him and demanded, "What are you doing?"

"You do not have to leave. I was just teasing you." This time, he reached over and brushed my bangs out of my face. There was something nearly tender about it that it reminded me of my father. I nodded, closed my eyes and inhaled shallowly. I was tempted to fall back to the world of dreams, but the kumo's next words made my eyelids fly open.

"There is nothing wrong in what you have done."

"What do you speak of?" For some reason, I didn't want him to know. I had never wanted anyone to know. It was _my_ secret.

"Your father. You two were lovers once, yes?"

"I don't know what you are talking about. That is ridiculous." I denied and turned my face away. If I didn't look into those maroon orbs, I could lie easily.

Naraku scoffed. "You are lying. I should know…I was always a good liar. The fact you cannot face me eye to eye has been taken into consideration, as well. I know you've always been a straightforward person even if you like to hide inside yourself. You analyze things to the core and if you cannot logically figure it out, you shove it down deep within yourself."

I snorted.

"If that isn't enough proof…then the fact you moaned '_father'_ this night and every other night I have been here…" Naraku started, but trailed off.

I inwardly cursed every single god, demon, Naraku, and even father. I said nothing.

"I am here. You can speak to me about it, if you so wish it. I will not judge you. It's not like someone like me has any room to judge. I'm guessing you kept this all bottled up since he died." Naraku murmured and reached over to comb his fingers slowly through my hair.

I don't know how he knew it, but playing with my hair was one of the few things that could actually comfort me. I nodded shortly and then I closed my eyes and laid there for several minutes while he deftly played with my long silken locks. As he stroked and twined his fingers in my hair, I felt that he was speaking the truth. He didn't mock me nor did it seem as if he were judging me. But then again, he had always excelled at deceit. This could be just another one of his ploys…

"Why are you here?" I asked suddenly and my eyes shot open. _Why would ex-enemies comfort each other?_

He stopped playing with my hair and looked down at me, his head tilted to the side. Then he commenced with stroking my hair again. "It will become clear soon enough."

I growled and sat up quickly. I brushed his hand aside and glared at him. "You are being what the humans call _kind_. I find that suspicious. What do you want from me?"

Naraku sighed and looked at me, his eyes tinged with a sort of melancholy only someone like me could understand. Why was he so poignant, though? Could someone like him actually have regrets?

"I want what everyone needs." He spoke so quietly that I had to strain just to catch those few words. After that, he stood up and left the room without a parting glance.

I was dumbfounded. What did everyone need?

I laid back down and stared up at the ceiling. Even though this spider confounded me, I pushed it away from my mind, for now. Thoughts of my father drifted into my mind and sorrow washed over me like a gentle, yet cold wave. Once again I was reminded that he was dead and I was alone. Once again I grieved his passing. The bitter reality of it made me want to scream and destroy things. But it would change nothing. Nothing I ever did, or could ever do…would ever change the truth. My father was dead and he wasn't coming back.

I curled up in a ball and hugged myself. I closed my eyes and eventually, I slipped into another dream. A dream of _Him_.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**To Be Continued.**

**_A/N: OMFG I finally finished this chapter! I've been working on this awhile. I promise I will have the second piece to this story out soon enough. Thanks for reading, and please…let me know what you thought of it._**


	2. Chapter 2: Reality

**Unreal**

By:_**God of Insanity**_

Warning(s): NC-17, Character Death, Yaoi M/M, LEMON, Anal, Oral, Incest, Fluffyness, Angst...and all the other good stuff.

Pairing(s): InuTaishou/Sesshoumaru, Naraku/Sesshoumaru

Summary: Sesshoumaru, with the help of his greatest enemy, reflects back on the one thing he's denied most: His father.

_**A/N: Wasn't easy to write. I'm not a fan of First Person, to be honest. But I did want to try writing it once or twice. You know, to shake things up a bit. **_

_**ANIME/MANGA SPOILER: BTW, Sesshoumaru gets his arm back in the anime, apparently, so I'm going with that from now on. So if any of you were reading the first chapter and/or this chapter and thought, "This isn't right, Sesshoumaru only has ONE arm…" then stop your train of thought. Oh, and I like Sesshoumaru's mother. I hate how everyone always depicts her as a bitch…even though she is a female youkai. I wish more of her was shown and known. She's pretty much as mysterious as her son…**_

_**BTW, I have always been a big fan of Batman since I was a wee baby. I guess I just like the characters whom are tall, dark, and silent. Mysterious characters are more interesting than the ones who reveal everything about themselves to the world. In reality, most of us are our own mysteries.**_

_Disclaimer(s): I do not own InuYasha or any of the characters except for my own ideas and characters. I make no profit whatsoever from Rumiko's work. I also do not own nor do I profit from RMB's Reality. _

Chapter 2: "Reality"

"**Reality**"

And through the sky I'm falling  
All troubles out of reach  
Below my weightless body  
A red and golden ocean spreads

The licking flames are shining  
Lava right ahead  
Ignore impending dangers  
Appearance and reality

Reality…

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

_For the next couple of weeks, father and I hardly left his room. The only times he deemed it acceptable to leave the room was to bathe or eat. Other than that, we spent the entire time rutting or sleeping. I had no complaints about this, but then again, I was in heat so it's not like I would have fought it. And yes, my kind enters heat, male and female, for weeks at a time. It didn't make sense to me and I found it to be an unnecessary burden._

_The time came when my heat ended. When the day came, I tried to leave, but father wouldn't allow me. _

"_Where are you going, Sesshoumaru?"_

_I looked over my shoulder at him and replied nonchalantly, "I have been a burden to you, so I intend to leave."_

"_Whether you are a burden or not matters little, young one. Whether you like it or not, we are mates. Your place is at my side from now on." He explained as quietly as he could to me. His voice was deeper and louder than mine so that whenever he lowered his voice to whispering, it sounded like he was talking at a normal level. He just always had a very commanding sort of voice and it was hard to rebel against it no matter who you were .Even I, as stubborn as I had always been, found it hard to disobey him._

_I stared back at him impassively even though every fiber of my being was shocked. I surprised to the point that I couldn't immediately move my own body. After a few minutes of staring at each other, I found my voice again. "Mates? Father, do you know of what you speak of?"_

"_I am no longer your father, boy. You may call me Touga, or my title. And I will have you not question me. You are my beta and I am your alpha." My father spoke evenly and left no room for argument. His words sounded very final as if they were set in stone. _

_I didn't realize I was shaking until he enveloped me in his arms in a gentle, soothing embrace. He nuzzled my neck, which effectively calmed me down ever further. In a voice as gentle as the night he had claimed me, he whispered into my ear, "Calm now, my young one. You were alone for some time. You are with me now. I promise you that you will never be alone again."_

~*~*~*~*~*~

When I woke up, I was alone. It took me a couple minutes to figure out that I had been dreaming again. I sat up and shook my dazed head. My chest tightened considerably and I felt hollow inside. It was such a strange combination to feel. To feel such pain and emptiness was something like feeling hate and love for someone. It just didn't make any sense. For so long, I had denied it and kept it in check. I never thought about it. I never dreamt about it. I had been perfectly content to feel nothing at all. And for hundreds of years, I had felt nothing.

Until Naraku.

I growled and got out of the bed. I noticed that it was the middle of the night. How long had I slept? I didn't know. But it wasn't important anyway since time has no bearing on my immortal body.

It was his fault. He came here. He woke the monster up. His reason for being here was still unknown and I didn't like that. But I would find out. With that in mind, I left the room in search of the reincarnated kumo. It wasn't hard to find him since he was always close by…almost as if he were waiting for something.

I found him in the tea room, seated at the table and drinking tea. He was clad only in those strange looking tight pants that I do not know the name of. They were blue and looked uncomfortable. But what was more was the fact that his naked torso was so…distracting. I tore my eyes away just in time to see the corners of his mouth twitch as he drank his tea.

Neither of us said anything for awhile. I watched from my place at the doorway as he placed the cup down carefully. Without looking at me, he said quietly, "Why don't you have a seat, Sesshoumaru?"

I snorted at that but found myself sitting across from him. Without asking me, he poured me some tea. I didn't touch it. Instead, I settled for just glaring coldly at him.

Naraku lifted his crimson eyes and looked at me inquisitively. "Did you have any sweet dreams?"

"…" I growled lowly and turned my face away in indignation.

"Oh, we're going to be that way tonight, pet?"

I snapped my eyes back to him and I wasn't exactly pleased by his sarcastic comment. "I am not your pet and never will I be."

"You act like one."

"I act nothing of the sort, kumo."

Naraku then smiled for reasons unknown to me. I arched one of my thin eyebrows at this.

"If you could only see yourself, Sesshoumaru…then you would take back every single word you have ever uttered in your entire life." The kumo spoke somberly, all traces of amusement gone from his visage and voice.

He was getting to me and we both knew it. He was under my skin and it itched so badly. I stood up and turned to leave, but he grabbed me by the wrist and forced me to sit down again. I tossed him an angry, yet questioning glare. He still had his fingers wrapped around my wrist. I tried to jerk it free, but he wouldn't let go. Such strength he had. But where had it come from?

"Do you always run away when you don't understand something, Sesshoumaru? If it makes no logical sense to you, do you deem it insignificant? Or…" Naraku started, but trailed off. He rubbed his thumb against my wrist and I hissed. He leaned over and brought my wrist closer to him. He leaned down and brushed his lips against my wrist. I hissed again but not from pain.

In all honesty, my skin had always been more sensitive than is normal for most humans or demons. There are different areas of my body that are more sensitive; such as all my markings, ears, inner thighs, neck, and groin. That is one of the reasons why I had never allowed anyone to touch me. I lose control of myself and that is one thing I never wanted to lose again.

His lips left my wrist and he looked at me thoughtfully, but still he did not release my slightly quivering wrist. "Or…do you run away because you are _afraid_?"

I scoffed at this. Inside, I felt raw and naked. Every single thing he had said was true, but I didn't want to admit it. It was easier to deny something than to admit it.

"I grow weary of your silence, Sesshoumaru. If you won't speak, then I will force you to make some noise, at least." Naraku growled and jerked me hard by the wrist, which resulted in me tumbling over the table and landing in his lap. Before I could retaliate, or even flee, his arms trapped me. He smirked up at me and in spite of my anger…I was struck by his dark beauty. I did nothing.

"I wonder what happened to you. The Sesshoumaru I remember was proud and he was a fighter. At least…when it came to the living. You won't fight me, yet you fight the memory of the dead. Why is that?" Naraku questioned, his head tilted to the side. A tentacle had wound itself around each of my wrists to prevent me from escaping. I didn't feel the urge to fight. Even if he planned to kill me…I didn't care. I had absolutely nothing to live for. No goal. No family. No honor. Nothing.

"There is no point." I mumbled. I know if my past self looked at me now, he would deem me as pathetic. It was true that there was still a part of him somewhere inside me and he was repulsed. All my life it had always felt like I was two people. He had been the one that had been in control once. He always liked to refer to us as 'This Sesshoumaru' and he would say it out loud to others. I never cared for it, really. I suppose I could call him my ego…

Or my alter ego as Bruce Wayne would refer to his other self, Batman. While it's true I barely paid any attention to the outside world, I had once come across an English comic about The Dark Knight. It had been called Batman: RIP. It had struck me in such a way that I had to read more of it so that I had sought all the stories that I could. Batman's life, the people he knew, the things he said, did, and felt…were all reminders of a life I had once. He wasn't completely like me since killing wasn't something I felt was morally wrong. But his aura, the way he thought, the way he isolated himself from others…it was just like me. Jaken had been my version of Alfred and Rin had been my version of Robin and Batgirl. They had never completely understood me, but they had always done what I told them to do. They had trusted me. Why did they follow me? Till this day it is a mystery to even me.

Naraku's eyes flashed and he looked angry. The tentacle around my wrists tightened considerably. He grabbed my face and forced me to look at him. I appeared unmoved and I could tell that also pissed him off. "There is always a point. To life is to fight and to fight is to live! I find it sad that you've forsaken everything. You are not the Sesshoumaru I once knew. Are you nothing but a hollow husk of the man that I lo-"

I narrowed my eyes when he stopped in mid-sentence. He looked away as if to focus his thoughts. He had almost given himself away, I could tell. What had he almost revealed to me? Was he going to say loathed? I cannot say for sure.

"I still believe he's still inside you somewhere." Naraku muttered in an unreadable voice and was still not looking at me. After a moment, he whispered as if to himself, "I _will_ find him."

"Who?"

The kumo then met my gaze, his crimson orbs burning into my eyes to a point that even I was tempted to look away. "The _real_ Sesshoumaru."

"…" I said nothing to that. I knew he was right. That damned spider always had the ability to scour into people's souls and find their deepest, darkest secrets. He wasn't always right, but most of the time he hit close to the mark. Back then, it didn't bother me much because normally he was only half-correct about his assumptions of me. But now…everything he said unsettled me because it was true. Was I that transparent?

"I will not leave until I find you, Sesshoumaru. You have my word." Naraku promised and then he released my wrists. He looked troubled, but determined.

I rose up off from his lap and left the room, my head filled with so many questions. It was a mystery to me why every time I came across this kumo…I only became even more befuddled.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day, I stood outside as I quietly observed the dawn. For some reason or another I always had to watch the sun rise. Perhaps I felt if I didn't watch out for it then it wouldn't come and I would be stuck in the same night forever. Most of the time I wasn't sure what century is was and I wasn't certain if all I ever knew was truly dead or not. My father. Rin. Jaken. All dead.

Except InuYasha.

I knew InuYasha was somewhere in Japan living with that miko of his. Where they lived and how they were doing, I had no clue. Nor did I care. All my hatred for InuYasha and everyone else had drained away over time. I barely felt anything anymore and there were few memories left that inspired any sort of emotion or feeling within me.

Yet…

"Is there any particular reason why you are out here every day at this time, Sesshoumaru?"

"…" I already knew who it was so I didn't spare him a glance. I could feel his presence behind me and yet it didn't bother me. He had plenty of opportunities to do nasty things to me, yet he hasn't done so yet. Only time would tell, I suppose.

"Ah, at least that part of you hasn't changed…"

I turned my head slightly and looked at him out of the corner of my eyes. "How do you mean?"

"You only speak when you want to know something. Getting an answer out of you had always been a hassle." Naraku explained and there was a hint of amusement in his voice. Even without looking, I knew that he was smirking.

I was about to retort when I felt a familiar presence. I looked to the sky and saw a giant white dog. I immediately knew who it was. I stayed rooted to my spot and focused my eyes on the rising sun. I idly wondered why she was here and why now? I haven't seen her in over five hundred years…

Suddenly, an inu youkai female who bore a very strong resemblance to me appeared in front of me. She could be mistaken for my twin if not for the different markings on her cheeks. It seemed like the only physical trait I had received from father were his markings. It was enough of a claim for all to know that I was his son.

"What's the matter, Sesshoumaru? Not happy to see your mother?" The female inu youkai asked; her head was tilted slightly to the side.

"…" I said nothing and merely stared at her.

My mother didn't seem bothered by my silence, but my silence was something that had never bothered her ever. Her eyes widened slightly when she noticed the other youkai with me. "Oh? Who is this? Your servant?"

"No." I spoke emotionlessly.

"Then why…" My mother's nose wrinkled when she had sniffed the air. A look of realization struck her eyes. It was very subtle and most wouldn't have noticed it, but I was her son and I knew what to look for. "Oh, I see now. He is your lover, is he not?"

"No." I spoke again, my voice smooth and apathetic. What should I tell her?

"Oh, my, it seems to have gotten worse over time, I see. Last time I saw you…you cared for a small youkai and a little ningen girl. Whatever happened to them, pray tell?" She inquired as if she didn't already know.

I simply stared at her with cold eyes so similar to her own. "Why are you here."

"Can't a mother visit her son?"

Out of the corner of my eyes, I glanced at Naraku. He was quiet and hadn't said a word. I knew he was taking everything in and taking notes inside his head. In spite of that, his face was unreadable and he looked calm and collected as if this was something normal.

If she had been any other person, she would have sighed in exasperation from my stubborn silence. Instead, she took it all in stride and didn't show any signs of being flustered by my detached behavior. In fact, she still looked the same and wore a similar looking kimono to the one I had last seen her in. I presumed that she still lived in the castle in the sky or somewhere in the continent. (1)

"I have come today because it is the anniversary of your first mate's death. Shortly before his death, he gave me this letter and told me to give said letter to you after the thousandth year of his death. In all honestly, this should have been given to you a few months ago, but you are and always have been a hard demon to find, my son. Just like your father…" My mother informed and her last sentence was said rather quietly, as if she were saying it more to herself than to anyone else. She gazed off to the side and appeared deep in thought. A bird chirped, which in turn awoke her from her ponderings and she immediately held out the sealed letter for me to take. I took it without comment.

I held it at my side and did not open it. A lot of things could be said about my distant mother, but when it came right down to it, my mother respected my father. She was probably one of the few people in existence that had never had any ill feelings for him. In a lot of ways, my mother and I were too similar. We both respected Touga even though we didn't always agree with his actions or thoughts. The fact that we were so similar to one another was probably one of the reasons I didn't care to be around her anymore. I didn't need a constant reminder of who I was and what I had lost. And she no doubt probably felt the same. (2)

My mother turned her attention back on Naraku and a smile almost appeared on her youthful face. I could tell she was both amused and confused. "Hm…I'm not sure that I approve of a spider being your mate…but if you are happy, then I am happy. I will admit that he is very handsome. Now, go on inside and read the letter, Sesshoumaru. I wish to speak with your kumo mate privately."

I wanted to argue with her and correct her, but like me, she was set in her ways. Arguing with her was just as effective as arguing with me. I didn't like it, but I didn't complain. I nodded my head and strode back inside the house without looking back at the two of them. I was curious as to what she would say to Naraku, but I was more curious about what my father had to say.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Once inside my room, I stood motionless with the unopened letter in my hand. I stared at it for a long while. Eventually, curiosity won against my other feelings and I broke the seal with my claws. I pulled the letter out carefully and slowly unfolded it. I recognized the familiar hand writing immediately. It was Father's. I brushed my fingertips across the surface of the writing as if I were touching him. Then I started to read it:

"_Dear Sesshoumaru,_

_I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it has been, and still is, for you. All I can do from my grave is hope that you are doing well and are happy. You most likely aren't, I fear. I know you so well. You had always been the introverted type. Just like your mother. You never were the emotional type and didn't like to think about things that weren't logical. Your feelings always confused you and instead of dealing upon them, you would lock them somewhere within you so you didn't have to deal with them. I didn't even know how you felt about me until after I battled Ryukotsei. Ah, leaving you behind was the hardest thing I ever had to do. _

_It's been a thousand years since my death. I doubt you have grieved properly, but I hope you have. A lot can happen in a thousand years. I doubt you have grown closer to your brother. I can only imagine you hated him for the life I gave to save him. You probably believed I favored him more than you. I didn't. But if you ever have children, you will understand what it means to sacrifice for them. I am very certain that you have found Bakusaiga by now and that InuYasha has Tetsaiga. Do not be disheartened. I did not give him that sword because I favored him more. He needed it to survive and to control his demon. You are a strong, powerful demon who has control over himself and his own actions. You sword…has always been inside of you. InuYasha had to acquire his from my tomb. I trusted you to figure everything out on your own. _

_I hope you can forgive me, but not for my sake. For yours. I want you to be happy and to live your life to the fullest. I somehow doubt you have found another mate. I imagine you are lonely and unhappy…and it saddens me. I don't want you to be that way. Do not cling to memories, Sesshoumaru, even if you don't acknowledge your memories. It is always good to remember. But it's not good to live in the past and forget to live in the present. You must live for the future. Allow someone else into your heart and don't allow the memory of me to discourage you from doing so. I am dead. You are not._

_I never loved your mother. I never loved InuYasha's mother, either. I only loved you. You were my mate. I would not have taken you as my mate if I had not loved you. I mean that with every fiber of my being. I have always loved you and even in death…you will have my love. Remember that always. Aishiteru anata._

_Your Mate,_

_Touga"_

I felt numb. I felt as numb as I had when I had learned of his demise. I was tempted to let the letter fall from my hands, but instead I slowly folded it and placed it in a desk drawer. I sank down in the chair and stared with unfocused eyes at nothing. The numbness settled over me in such a way that I couldn't think, let alone blink.

My grip on reality had gradually slipped over the years and now I didn't even know what was real or not anymore. Was Naraku even here with me or was he just a figment of my imagination? Had my mother really come with that letter? Was everything and everyone I saw just things I had conceived in my mind? Was the real reality too much to bear for me so much that I had to become delusional?

Perhaps I was lonely and this was my mind's way of making up for this loneliness that bore its unyielding jaws upon my person. Maybe I just didn't want to face reality at all.

After all, reality is a cruel bitch that bites.

~*~*~*~*~*~

_**A/N: I'm sorry, I had to end this chapter here, but don't worry…there will be another chapter soon. I think I will end it by chapter 3. I prefer odd numbers, anyway. As always, feedback is GREATLY appreciated. Seriously…us writers are STARVING! Give us a nibble? **_

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(1)The continent refers to China. I was doing some research one day and found out some interesting things. It was very fascinating and had some good points about Sesshoumaru and his line. I highly suggest you go read it. Here's the link: www(dot)zimbio(dot)com/CosPlay,+Costume+Making,+and+Historical+Reenactment/articles/51/Historical+Accuracy+VS+Lord+Sesshomaru

Now…some of it I do believe is right, but not all of it. I don't quite agree with the parts about the family being shunned and attacked because Touga had a child with a Japanese woman. That part was kinda sketchy and sounded…like pure speculation.

(2)Feel free to disagree but from what I have seen of Sesshoumaru's mother, she looks and acts a lot like he does. She has more humor to her, but from what I have seen, she's very similar. It seems like Sesshoumaru takes after her and InuYasha takes after Touga.

My _Reviewers_:

Pineapple55- The Reborn idea fits with this one. Kinda supports the idea that people can "change" if they want to, that people get a second chance, and yada yada. I'm sure more of that will have been explained by the last chapter. Glad you got over the idea, lol. I normally don't like doing first person stuff, or even having reincarnated characters, but hey depending on the story, certain things work or do not work.

Hmmm…yes, I see Touga as possessive, but not anywhere near as possessive as Naraku, lol.

Your idea may or may not be wrong. Either way, I'm going for something not a lot of people have written. Most people write Touga as a bastard, and yes, a lot of people write Sesshoumaru's mother as a bitch, too, ha! Oh, and thanks a bunches for the review! ^^ You're one of my best reviewers.

LordOfTheWest-"Him" refers to InuTaishou and I'm sure all your questions will be answered…well at least some of them will be. In life, we never get all the answers we want. Because we are a curious, pondering species, we are always coming up with more questions. There's never enough answers, it seems. Thanks for the review, dear! And like pineapple, you're one of my best reviewers, too. I revere you as a sort of stalker… *makes a run for it*

The Deity Ororo-And so I shall, since you commanded it. LMAO. Anywhos, thanks for the review.

Hopelessbitterone- Glad you liked it. If you do enjoy this pairing, don't worry…there will be more stories with InuT/Sess. I actually have an old one on , but it needs some editing. It's about 10 chapters so far. Eventually I'll have to wipe the dust off, edit it, and figure out what I need to do with it.

Lol, guilty for liking the father/son-slam-bam-lemon-ma'am? In fanfics, the incest angle doesn't bother me at all. Look how many people are all gaga for Inu/Sess…O_o… I'm still not keen on pedophile stuff, though. Anywhos, thanks for the review and I'll be sure to make you feel even guiltier soon!

Dragon77-Glad you think so. Hopefully I haven't disappointed anyone. Thanks for the review.

Naraku kun- That…was rather strange. I'm sorry, but that was no review. If you were so tired you should have gotten some sleep. I'm one of those people that doesn't get much sleep…but if I read something and I'm too tired to review, I just review the next day or so when I can formulate thoughts. So please, next time leave an _actual_ review.


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